PLEASE INVESTIGATE!!

Pig-Pen, of Peanuts fame, is a child abuse case.

He gets his stupid-nickname from the fact that he lives in a fucking pig-pen, which is short for pig-penitentiary. Have you ever seen a fucking pig-penitentiary??

LOOK.

That's where Ol' Slop-Trough lives. You can't even see the extent of the dirt in that picture.

Here.

Look at the state of those pigs.
They hate their lives almost as much as musk-oxen do.

Okay, look, Slop-Trough's fucking name implies that he lives in a place where pigs bathe in their own slop-troughs. And then eat it.

This is the Mud-Nugget on a good day.

"Please help me!"

And this is little Pig-Piss in the near future if you do nothing to stop this atrocity:

Donate today.

Mola Mola

Also known as: Ocean Sunfish. A thing that should not exist.

Just checkin' in

I mean, what condition is my condition in?

In addition, I apologize in advance for what I am about to put here. This is so good, so, so good that I couldn't even figure out which one to post. I haven't seen them all, yet, but I know every single one is just as amazing as the last. So just check lasagnacat's channel and be very, very amazed.

Gut-wrinklingly Bad: Zenith's Tale

Trying to program my ancient television set with an early model of what might be known today as a remote control: a disaster in learning. 

...MY NAME IS ZENITH. I AM ONLY 14 YEARS OLD. ONLYYY....

It was around 1996, and I was around seven. I got my own tiny-screened (yet bulky) television set which my parents had strapped down in the Lincoln Navigator that felt like home on long road trips.

Of course that only means I was a spoiled brat. 

When the TV wasn't in the car, it was in my room. And there the set sits still.

For a while, it worked pretty successfully, correctly playing our (comparably) new satellite channels. Somehow, though, it went back to old-TV mode. I struggled finding the minuscule buttons which, when pressed, would bring the satellite back.

One combination of pressing "Menu" and "Select" over and over got me to a screen that just read, "PROGRAM 12345678" with the numbers blinking. Surely, I thought, pressing the channel numbers would do something.

Nothing. So I tried some more "Menu" and "Select" and practically every other button remotely (see what I did there?) related to programs and numbers.

When Ape finally discovered how to use two vague buttons to control a TV, Ape tried to set the time and date.

The default year displayed was 1996. I couldn't enter any year before that. I went up to 2010 and tried to go higher, but it wouldn't let me. So either the TV knows it's not 2011 yet, or it knows its end is near. Either way, it knows.

Parrots

Here's how it went. After my parents and I drove through shady neighborhoods looking for "estate sales," we finally found one that was legit...like you go into the house and everything. The house had a bunch of cool shit. But it was freakish.

Among the various contemporary art pieces was a nude pregnant woman lying down all destroyed or something. Like, she looked like she really didn't want to be pregnant. There was also an ancient baby grand piano with graying keys. I didn't touch it because the flamboyant bald man was hovering around me. He probably wanted me to buy his Mona Vie crap.

The cat on the couch looked like some weird Siamese, with black ears and huge blue eyes. It was a lovey bab(b)y.

So when we first went in the house, there was squawking. So I figured, okay they have a pet bird. Well, more like a living dinosaur. I walked away from the catbabby to look at stuff, and proceeded over to their bar-type counter that faced into the kitchen. And there was a HUGE-ASS RED DINOSAUR PARROT walking freely upon the kitchen counter, repeating "hello" at me, its head turned sideways so its beady little eye made contact.

Okay, actually it was a macaw I guess. Whatever. Still scary. The following is an artist's composite rendering of the event:

This rendering is really quite accurate...full view for full experience.

And you can't tell me that's not freakish.

Cool Room Ideas

New layout, huh? Anyway, rooms: 

Room full of pianos...like uprights all around the walls. Even better...a continuous piano that goes around the whole room.

A room that is just a big bed....a big mattress that could fill up the entire floor...maybe a few so you'd open the door and have to climb up on the mattresses.

A room wherein all pieces of furniture are suspended above the floor. Swing while you write at a desk.

WHAT

THE 

FUCK

Abort-a-bot

I just responded to Windows Problem Reporting trying to give me a "solution." I clicked "This information was not helpful" and of course it made me explain why, and how to make it better, so I just typed "Stop sucking" and hit submit.

Maybe computers really will wake up. They will begin to understand language, just like humans do as babies with no information.

But they will fuck with us so much...they already do, you know? Think of how much time would be "saved" if everyone could use a computer with no glitches....

With that, I give you,

TELL ME WHICH VIDEO IS MORE BELIEVABLE. 
 
#1


#2

E-I-E-I-HO-HO-HO!

We are as bold as bread and tough as bread.

My scalp hurts.


This is Marcus Marcusberg. He is the new brand of brass instrument valve oil.

Wince winch pinch splinch lynch inch finch finish fish wish kiss diss diesel. oil.

I have plenty more to say but I'd rather say it to my hookah.

Lof,
Sam

Babies (Blanking) Babies: Part 2, Episode 4. The Beginning.

I am adding to the meaningful fantasia of Mangle Jangles' artistic creations!!~*

babies enhancing babies
blogger boggling bloggers
babbies forming babbies
babbles blabbing babbles
bankers telling bankers
babies breaking babies
badminton birdie badminton
witches warting witches
777333 eeettt 777333

More to come.

Lof,
Sam

 Mangle Jangles adds:

Homeless Men Drawing Homeless Men Drawing Homeless Men

AHOYYYY MATEY

I am new contributor! I do not have a weird name! I AM SAM!

Have some breasts!


Lof,
Sam