Parrots

Here's how it went. After my parents and I drove through shady neighborhoods looking for "estate sales," we finally found one that was legit...like you go into the house and everything. The house had a bunch of cool shit. But it was freakish.

Among the various contemporary art pieces was a nude pregnant woman lying down all destroyed or something. Like, she looked like she really didn't want to be pregnant. There was also an ancient baby grand piano with graying keys. I didn't touch it because the flamboyant bald man was hovering around me. He probably wanted me to buy his Mona Vie crap.

The cat on the couch looked like some weird Siamese, with black ears and huge blue eyes. It was a lovey bab(b)y.

So when we first went in the house, there was squawking. So I figured, okay they have a pet bird. Well, more like a living dinosaur. I walked away from the catbabby to look at stuff, and proceeded over to their bar-type counter that faced into the kitchen. And there was a HUGE-ASS RED DINOSAUR PARROT walking freely upon the kitchen counter, repeating "hello" at me, its head turned sideways so its beady little eye made contact.

Okay, actually it was a macaw I guess. Whatever. Still scary. The following is an artist's composite rendering of the event:

This rendering is really quite accurate...full view for full experience.

And you can't tell me that's not freakish.